I grew up part of a first responder family. I was a third generation volunteer firefighter, my mom and dad both joined their local fire company at 15 years old. My aunts and uncles on both sides of the family also had firefighting in their blood. Before I was born, my dad was a prison guard, and my mom was a 911 dispatcher. Being a first responder family is not for the weak. Anywhere between 60-75 percent of all first responder marriages end in divorce. I think the reason for the high rate is quite simple, they all have irregular hours, are exposed to constant trauma and it takes a large physical and emotional toll on first responders. It’s because of all this I always said I never wanted to marry a firefighter, cop or someone in the military, because I know none of those professions make for an ideal family and home life.
Here I am, almost 27 years old. I’ve been married to my husband Dalton for seven years. We met while we were both in high school, while also serving as volunteer firefighters. We had talked about dating then, but I knew he was going to be leaving for Army basic training after graduation, and I told him long distance wasn’t something I felt I could do. So, we remained friends and kept in touch. Shortly after he was stationed in Fort Bragg, N.C., I decided to make a trip down to visit him. We spent most of the weekend in Wilmington, at the beach and catching up on life. The eight hour drive back to Pennsylvania made my heart hurt. I knew in that moment I wanted to spend the rest of my life following Dalton, where ever his career took him.
Well, I did just that. We got married in 2018, I moved to N.C., we had two beautiful children and made a million memories in-between. In January of 2024, Dalton was honorably discharged from the military and he took on being a stay-at-home dad for a while to catch up on some lost time with the kiddos. At this point, I was already a firefighter and military spouse. So Dalton figured, why not also make me a cops wife while he was at it? We had since moved to Florida, and he decided to begin the training to become a Law Enforcement Officer. He graduated the Pat Thomas Police Academy beginning of 2025, and is currently an officer of the Tallahassee Police Department.
He always does a phenomenal job, and exceeds expectations with everything he puts his mind to, so it came as no surprise to see him excelling as a police officer. However, as proud of him as I may be, the struggles are still very real. I did not miss sleeping alone, hardly seeing each other because of opposite schedules or being unable to sleep until I hear him come home. Some days are harder than others. More often than not lately, the thought of being the 25 percent of marriages that make it versus the 75 percent divorce rate seems daunting. I get why some people stop fighting for their marriage in this kind of life. We’ve come close to calling it quits during his military service, and I truly believe it is only by the grace of God as his plan for our lives we have made it through every trial we’ve faced together. Recently, I’ve found my brain constantly reminding itself “someone has to do the job, and they’re lucky to have Dalton.” Hearing the difference his presence makes on a call, Is more than enough to remind me all the hard times are worth it.
As hard as it is, I wouldn’t want any other life than this one. The life Dalton and I have built, the hard times we’ve overcome together, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I feel for all the families, the spouses and children who live this life. I know it’s not easy, it comes with loneliness, fear and holding down the fort at home so their loved one can keep the streets, homes or some place in another country safe. In the mean time, y’all don’t forget, behind every police officer, firefighter, EMT/Paramedic, dispatcher or service member there is a family that loves and supports them—silently, steadfastly and always.