Learning As I Go: Church hurt

“Nah, I don’t go to church anymore. All those church people messed it up for me.” “I really miss going to church, but I never could find a place that I fit. I don’t want to go through that again.” “Once ‘so and so’ started coming to church, it just messed it up for me. There’s no way I can worship with ‘so and so’ in the room.” “There’re too many hypocrites at church.” “My whole family used to be very involved at church. But then some stuff happened in our family, and I didn’t feel like I would be accepted anymore.” This list of reasons could go on and on, and maybe you have your own reasons to add to the list. The hard reality is that every one of the reasons above has one common thread—people. People make church hard. We all enter a church setting with different backgrounds. Some have never been to church while others were raised in church. Some have had bad experiences or theological run-ins at previous churches. Some people see themselves as unworthy of God’s love, therefore, unworthy of being able to step foot inside a church. Some people bring their own agendas and crave positions of power while others want to serve in the background and disappear into the crowd. This mix of mindsets brings a variety of expectations as well. Music preferences. Teaching and preaching. Programs for children and youth. Community service. Doctrine. Dress code. Groups and classes. And the list goes on and on. Then there’s the baggage part. We all have hurts and those hurts are often the lenses through which we see the world. Abuse, divorce, death, addiction, anxiety, depression, mental disorders, diseases, job loss, fears, insecurities and trust issues are just a few of these deep hurts. So, we take all these reasons, differences and baggage and we bring them together in a place called church. Jesus says come. Just as you are. In Matthew 11:28 (NLT) Jesus says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” We are supposed to bring all our stuff with us as we walk into those church doors. But I think a big problem too many of us face is that we leave our junk at the feet of others instead of at the cross. We expect the things of the church to meet our needs and save our souls. We seek to be entertained by the preaching and music and blessed by the friendships and classes. But when it comes down to it, to really getting connected to Christ, we freeze. Because when we get real with Jesus, everything changes. When we are presented with the reality that grace covers all our sins and God chooses to remember those sins no more—we are overwhelmed. The fact that Jesus sacrificed himself for us, took on the sins of this world, and continues to go to great lengths to make sure we understand, grab hold of, and live in his grace seems mind boggling. And once we get past all the other noise that people bring with them to church, this is what we see. Redemption. Grace. Hope. Mercy. Forgiveness. Freedom. It breaks my heart to think that we as people cause other people to miss the real reason we come to church. It saddens me that so many folks are standing firm in their reasons for not going to church because we as Christians have misrepresented the name of Christ. But it saddens me even more that we aren’t reaching and trying to help heal the wounded and show folks the real Jesus. Have you stopped going to church because of other people? Maybe the enemy likes the fact that you aren’t connected to other believers. And maybe the enemy also likes the fact that you are angry and hurt and he wants to keep you that way. Church hurt is a real thing and I in no way want to minimize that reality; but I want to remind you that Jesus is the main thing. If you are tired of being trapped in the hurt, find someone who is living out their faith in a real way and talk with them. Then ask God for guidance and try again. All people and all churches are not the same. Whatever you do, don’t let the hurt keep you from seeking Christ. For more from Christy, visit her blog at christybassadams.com or send comments to christyadams008@gmail.com.