Emerald G. Parsons: Greene Publishing, Inc.
13 Reasons Why – which hit NetFlix back in March – draws its plot from author Jay Asher’s 2007 young adult novel of the same name. The show focuses on the death of 17-year-old Hannah Baker, who leaves behind 13 audio cassette tapes for her classmates and peers, explaining why she decided to kill herself. These tapes list the names of the people and their actions, that have driven her to her final fate. She intends for the tapes to be passed from person to person, so each can understand the full story and the impact they had on her life – and death.
Throughout the series, there are instances of cyber bullying, sexual assault, rape, underage drinking, driving under the influence, and a graphic scene depicting Hannah’s suicide.
The series has caused a lot of controversy for the last several months. Schools around the nation sent out warnings to parents in regards to the mature nature of the show; newspaper articles and television news broadcasts reported how many felt the show was a “romanticized, beautiful tragedy”, and psychologists and mental health groups have spoken out publicly against the show, claiming it sends the wrong message to viewers and that the series is an ‘instruction manual for suicide.’
I disagree with all the negative remarks.
I do feel that parental guidance should be highly observed because of the show’s content and language usage. It’s hard to put an age (for viewing) on this show, because every child is different. The bad language is atrocious, but so is the language of everyday high school students in real life. The topics of conversation are graphic and very blunt, but then again it is nothing that every teenager is not already subject to in their own high school.
13 Reasons Why is agonizing and very painful to watch. In fact, I struggled to keep watching and finally quit watching after Tape 10. Then, I kept hearing and reading the controversies that surrounded this series, and my curiosity on how it would “play out” got the better of me; and I finished watching the “last three tapes,” and finished the series. And, I’m so glad I did!
As I watched Hannah’s life unfold, tape after tape after tape, my anger would build. It is sad to say that what she experienced happens to so many other high school girls. The untrue rumors, the gropes and comments are all too familiar to too many young girls. The show also illustrates some of Hannah’s peers and how different types of bullying affects their life, as well.
According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, one out of every four students report being bullied during the school year (64 percent of children who were bullied did not report it; only 36 percent reported the bullying).
Many adults might think of a bully as someone who's just out to get lunch money or a bigger person shoving a smaller child into a locker like on TV, but nowadays, the image of a bully has drastically changed.
One of the more popular types of bullying many of us see today is cyberbullying, which is described as repetitive bullying that takes place through technology, such as cell phones, computers, chats, social media sites and websites. Cyberbullying.org points out that cyberbullying is especially harmful because it can be done so easily. “For example, imagine someone posts a particularly embarrassing picture of another person online in such a way that others can see it, link to it, and even leave public comments in reference to it,” states the website. “While the action of uploading the picture is a one-time behavior, others can view it or otherwise refer to it repeatedly, thereby resulting in recurring humiliation and shame to the target. One person might see it, or millions of people might see it.” Thanks to new apps such as Snapchat, Yik Yak and Whisper, as well as social media, cyberbullying occurs across a variety of mediums in cyberspace. This trend has led to an increase of reports of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is much different than other types of bullying, as the hurtful actions of cyberbullies can go viral to thousands/millions of people within seconds.
I think 13 Reasons Why gained so much negative reviews because it shares so much knowledge with parents, and adults in general, that truly do not understand what is really happening to our teens in this world. Whoever said it was a “romanticized, beautiful tragedy” truly doesn’t understand what is happening in today’s culture.
Bullying and teen suicide are very real and very scary problems in our world, and I, for one, don’t think enough is done about them. It is as if everyone is scared to talk about bullying and the effects of it. The words bullying and suicide are treated like “dirty words.” People who die from suicide are frequently experiencing undertreated or untreated depression. When dealing with young people, bullying is the major factor in that depression; they feel depressed and hopeless about the future.
As I watched 13 Reasons Why, I was angry at the continual situations; I was angry at the other teenagers who were doing the bullying; I was angry because I remember high school and how cruel some boys and girls can be, and I was angry at the peers who did nothing to stop the bullying that they knew was going on.
Although I never experienced any incidents of bullying, I remember my school-age days and purposely seeking out and finding those who were “less popular” or those that I felt were “picked on” and then purposely spending time with them by eating lunch or walking to class with them. I guess I have always felt the pain that others were feeling by being bullied. As my children were growing up, I gave them speech after speech on being kind to others, always being nice to the “new kids” at school and to never (ever) pick on another child. I gave as many speeches on that as I did about not doing drugs and not drinking and driving.
And then I would hear their stories of what some of their peers were saying and doing to other children… and I had to ask myself, “Is no one else teaching their children to ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?’”
I see Facebook posts where parents are writing about their children being bullied on the school bus and at school and I can only imagine the pain and anger they must be feeling. They write about the tears and anguish the child is going through and how (the parents) feel the school system is not helping them with the situation. So many parents feel the school’s teachers and administration personnel are failing the children in the area of bulling (And, according to a survey in 2011, students feel that the adults in their lives – parents, teachers, community members – are failing to adequately address this issue, as well).
But, what is important to keep in mind is that only a few children actually come home and tell their parents what is happening to them at school. Many are too embarrassed to tell anyone, and those who do tell are usually elementary-aged children. Once a child hits high-school age, they are most likely never to tell their parent(s) what is happening in their lives. Thus, the abuse continues and gets worse.
In regards to the negative remarks about 13 Reasons Why, one of the writers from the Netflix show, Nic Sheff, defended the series’ more graphic scenes by saying, “Facing these issues head-on—talking about them, being open about them—will always be our best defense against losing another life. I’m proud to be a part of a television series that is forcing us to have these conversations, because silence really does equal death.”
According to the Center for Disease Control, children who are bullied are found to have an increased risk for suicide-related behavior. One in 65,000 children ages 10 to 14, commit suicide each year, according to SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, and a nationwide survey of youth in grades 9–12 in the United States conducted by the CDC in 2014 found that:
16 percent of students reported seriously considering suicide
13 percent of students reported creating a plan
Eight percent of students reported trying to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey
According to the 2015 CDC WISQARS - Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10-24; and suicide is the second leading cause of death for college-age youth and ages 12-18.
Talk openly with your children; help them know they can talk to you; teach them to be nice to others; teach them to ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’; and teach them to stand up, speak up and stop the bullying that they do see happening. Teach your young boys to treat girls with respect and to not spread rumors while trying to “earn a notch on their belt.”
Bullying affects everyone – those who are bullied, those who bully and those who witness the bullying.
The way we all treat each other and look out for each other has to get better.