Jennifer Baxter
Contributor
It's already May and you swore you would hold true to that New Year's resolution of getting in shape and losing those extra pounds. You say it every year, and every year you find yourself falling off the proverbial diet and fitness bandwagon by the time Valentine's Day rolls around.
Don't feel bad and beat yourself up for it! After all, that's kind of how it happens for most who make resolutions. Occasionally, we know of someone who has stuck to their goal and saw the whole thing through, but she is the rare unicorn with the ability to think and organize differently than the rest of us. I call her a "unicorn" because she's almost unreal in her perfection. Why is that? Why do so many of us fail in an attempt to accomplish something for ourselves? Why is it so difficult for us to stick to an idea of positive change? We obviously want to do it or know we should do it, or we wouldn't keep bothering to bring it up, but something stops us from being successful.
Whether your goal was to shed 30 pounds, prepare for a fitness competition, quit drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes – or go vegan – you find yourself unable to be successful and throw up your hands. You've gone on Instagram and Facebook to follow the most desirable social media influencers. You've researched your heroes, their diets, their programs and their daily lives of perfection captured in cellphone photos for the world to behold. You've purchased new products, supplements, workout attire and machines. You've joined a gym or collected your tools and you see just how perfect you can be if you do things exactly like that 34-year-old gal with a 15 percent body fat in those videos you've been watching for a month. She even says that if she can do it, so can you!
You aren't her, and you never will be. You are only you. She happens to be that one unicorn I mentioned earlier that somehow fought her way to where she is. You have no idea how she actually got there. Maybe she did do it perfectly, as she would like to lead you to believe in order to sell a product or self-promote to collect another 10,000 followers.
Perhaps she went through a period of time suffering from an eating disorder or maybe she's been an athlete her whole life and easily bounced back after a break. No matter what her true story is, it is not your story. So, stop looking at her and start looking at yourself. If you keep falling off your wagon, perhaps a few tips might help you hang on better. Don't fret that spring is already here and you're not bikini ready. Spring time means there's still time, so hop back on that wagon with your new outlook and hold on for a good ride!
Stop comparing yourself to others: So many of us fall into this tangled web. It's the, "If I can do it, so can you," trap! How often have you fallen for someone's pitch about how they succeeded at something and if you buy X, Y and Z, you can succeed too? If you watch every stinking YouTube video they make and subscribe to their page, you will be just like them. While they probably look amazing, you will not look just like them. Your life is different. You may have a full-time, demanding career and children. Maybe you're a single parent on a very limited budget. Maybe you've passed the age of 34 long ago and time hasn't been so kind.
Regardless of your situation, you have to understand that we are all unique and that no one should ever compare themselves to someone else. Your body isn't going to respond to diet and exercise exactly the same way as someone else's. Instead of buying into "if I can do it, so can you," maybe you might, "try and try again." Many of us that have been involved in health and fitness for years have had to try and try again. What worked at 22 didn't work at 35.
Now, for myself, what worked at 39 sure doesn't work at 51! We go through changes, both physically and mentally. As we age, or as life situations change, we must adapt. This doesn't mean you get a hall pass for not trying. It just means that you may have to do your own research using yourself as your guinea pig before you find which wheel you love to run on! One way doesn't exist. You must find what works for you, and only you can do that.
Sure, it's great to listen to sound advice from some of these amazing influencers (after all, my daughter is one of them), but you must never compare yourself to them. Who knows? You might find your own path is so successful that you surpass them in time. Always be an original.
Let go of expectations: Disappointment stinks. You find a recipe you want to try, buy all the ingredients, spend the time preparing it and it turns out to be a big mess. You check your recipe again, check your list and you either find where you messed up or that you followed every direction perfectly. Whatever the case may be, the project did not meet your expectations. The way you believed it should turn out (just like the mouth-watering picture accompanying the recipe) and the way it actually came to fruition could not have been more different; hence, the disappointing dish that no one wants to eat.
You have a certain level of expectation in everything you try to do. If you try to lose ten pounds in a month, then you either expect to succeed or fail. Most of the time it is this expectation that actually causes failure. If you research weight loss in depth as to how it relates to your age, your current weight, your current health status (medications you might be taking, etc.), your current activity level, your diet and everything else you can possibly imagine, you might find that an expectation of a ten-pound loss in one month isn't practical, probable or sustainable.
Most healthy weight loss programs do not recommend trying to lose more than two pounds per week. That might seem low, and while some can lose a good bit more than that (the more weight one has to lose, the more weight comes off initially), most find that losing one to two pounds per week is